BEST ON THE BOX

The telly of 2009 has been top notch. Here are a few of my personal highlights.

Dancing on Ice-
Ray Quinn was ON FIRE. Ridiculously good and also rather hot in his own hobbit-like-slicked-hair-looks-about-10 way. I fancy him. But then I fancy a fair few unlikely people.




Celebrity Big Brother-
This was, I thought, a brilliant series. Verne Troyer drunk and crashing into the Diary Room door was TV gold. I was not, however, a fan of Tina Malone and her toenail eating ways. But when Michelle Heaton compared her to the female ogre on Shrek, it was so funny, I almost got a hernia.
The clip below should not be watched by those with an aversion to midgets licking babies.



The Inbetweener's-
BRILLIANT. If slightly repulsive. (I say 'slightly'- thats a lie)



Big Chef takes on Little Chef-
Heston Blumenthal, the Chef that can only be described as 'he's-not-a-bloody-chef-who-wants-to-eat-bacon-and-egg-ice-cream?', took on the challenge of re-vamping that much loved (ahem, not by me) chain, Little Chef. The owner of Little Chef literally had me shouting abuse at the television set and making plans to break into his office in the dead of night, steal his expenses figures and sell them to the Daily Mail.


Friday Night With Jonathon Ross-
I am not the biggest fan of Jonathon Ross and his 'good-humoured' arrogance and floppy hair, but I cannot deny that he gets some bloody good guests on his show.



24-
Jack Bauer is my one and only 'old man' crush. His manly exclamations of 'dammit!', 'son of a bitch', and 'copy that', literally glue me to the seat (there's not really any need for the action packed, blood drenched, 'real time' rest of the programme). And with the return of Tony, Chloe and Bill in the seventh season, I could hardly contain my joy when they all started WORKING AS A TEAM!




Never Mind the Buzzcocks-
I am a devoted fan of NMTB and when I heard that Simon with-his-witty-oneliners-and-his-big-bushy-hair Amstell would not be returning for the new series I was devastated. HOWEVER, those clever producers have managed to remedy the situation in the best possible way they could; Noel Fielding. Remember I was talking about my unlikely crushes? Noel Fielding is another, extremely strong, undying one.



I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of Here-
This much anticipated series was slightly anticlimatical. Much anticipated due to the return of a certain busty lady. Katie Price. Or 'Pricey's back', as she would like to be known.
However when she walked out of the Jungle due to the persistent Bush Tucker Trials the British public (you guys!) were inflicting upon her, the series took something of a nose dive.




The X Factor-
What can I say? 2009 has been Simon Cowell's year. And boy have I loved it.
The X Factor has raked in millions of viewers and won the rating's battle outright. This year the press has been all over it, with Dannii outing Danyl on live television, Olly and Stacey's romance rumours, and Danyl's alledged bullying. But nothing could top the real winner of the show. The one act who will be able to grab fame and fortune with both hands and grip the nation for years to come. You know who I'm talking about. JED-FLIPPIN'-WARD.




Happy 2010 everybody. Lets hope for another year of TV classics.